• Poonam Dutta (Satyamshakti)

Why Shouldn’t You Chase Your Ex ?


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Staying friends with your ex may be the best option after a break-up. For some, friendship works out when both partners are done and dusted with their romantic feelings for one another. But for most people, getting to that stage is quite cumbersome. That’s because when a relationship ends, people can’t imagine life without the other person being around. They continue to hope that their friendship will help them get back with their exes.


If you have recently broken up and are desperately trying to get your ex back, and it isn’t working, then stop chasing your ex right now and go in the opposite direction. In this article, we will discuss some of the top reasons why you should never chase an ex too much. Chasing Will Make the Situation Worse If your girlfriend ends the relationship and you want her back, then there are limited ways you can re-attract them. And chasing your ex is not one of them! When you chase, they only pull back, and it makes the situation worse than anything else.

Chasing is nothing but an idea to try and force your ex to make the relationship work. But you can’t force anyone to be with you. After the break-up, your girlfriend feels smothered. And what chasing does is to make her feel more smothered. So, it is best to leave her alone and let her come to you. Chasing Will Turn Your Ex Off! Most of the time, your ex will dump you for falling out of love with you due to some reason. If the reason predominantly relates to your behavior within the relationship, then chasing will not help you win your ex back. On the contrary, it will chase her away! So, what you should really do is reignite attraction by using the no-contact, no-communication rule (to be discussed in the next blog). Chasing Often Exhibits Traits of Weakness Men surrender themselves to their girlfriend’s physical attraction. That requires sacrificing what she wants for her approval. You may be willing to give up your morals to win it. But then, instead of winning, you end up losing it. Rather than giving the impression of being a strong, virtuous, and confident man, you come across as a weak, desperate, pathetic, and needy person. All of these traits are known to turn an ex off and get you dumped! Chasing Reduces Her Desire for You Most girls expect guys to chase them after their relationship ends. But, when you do the opposite and completely cut off the communication with your ex, it makes her wonder whether you were really as deeply into her as she thought.

Moreover, when she starts feeling sad, lonely, and anxious after the break-up, your silence will look like a possibility of losing you altogether. This fear of loss can profoundly affect her decision and motivate her to contact you again and reconcile.

But if you were to chase her the entire time, she wouldn’t even experience any fear of losing you forever. It makes your ex want you less. Knowing that she can have you back at any moment will actually reduce her desire and attraction for you. Chasing will Devalue your Self-Worth and Self Respect People tend to appreciate those who are hard to come by. If your ex has to work harder to get your time and attention, then they will have a greater sense of appreciation for you. Knowing that it isn’t so easy to have your presence in their life, your ex will attach a higher degree of worth to your image.

But, when you forego your position and standards for your ex and start chasing her, it makes you look desperate. And with your desperate behavior, you don’t come across as attractive and desirable as before, driving your ex away! Your girlfriend will dump you because her perception of you is not what it used to be. So, chasing your ex doesn’t help you win her back but only lowers your value in her mind. Furthermore, someone who is in high demand, and is desirable, will not have to chase people or degrade himself by begging someone to see his worth. Instead, he’ll only make time for those who are seriously interested in making an effort. That’s a sure sign of self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself, there’s no way your ex will respect you. Chasing Blocks New Relationships When you keep fancying your ex, you block the energetic space for a new person to enter your life. When you let go of chasing your ex, you can focus on developing a new relationship. Conclusion: Getting your ex back becomes all the more difficult when you start chasing him/her. So, chasing is a big mistake. It has destroyed several relationships that had the potential of getting sorted out after a break-up. That is why chasing is considered an unproductive and destructive approach to winning your ex back. If you recently ended your relationship and are heartbroken and want your ex back, seek professional help. Poonam Dutta is an experienced psychologist and relationship counselor who can help you heal from your broken relationship and advise proven techniques to win your ex back. Contact Poonam Dutta or call her at +91-8830824402 to schedule a counseling session today!

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