Poonam Dutta (Satyamshakti)
Are You In A Toxic Relationship? Here’s How You Can Deal With It
How would you best describe a relationship? And when I say a relationship here, I mean a regular, (plain-jane) healthy relationship. I’d probably describe it as something that just clicks. It makes you
feel right despite the smaller bumps in the road and disagreements from time to time. It is a space between two people that encourages communication, happiness and growth.
On the contrary, a toxic relationship is a different story altogether. Feeling of constant pressure, anxiety, being drained both mentally and physically after spending time with your partner are signs that suggest things need to change.
What is a toxic relationship then?
It is very typical for a toxic relationship to be marked by one or both partners causing harm to the other, whether purposefully or unintentionally. You may encounter manipulative behaviour and intentional abuse that could leave you feeling trapped.
The relationship doesn’t need to have started on a negative or abusive note. More often than not, it does start positively, but each passing day leaves you more and more drained and stressed. Your energy levels seem to start taking a hit and you start living with a constant sense of lack of worth.
Does this sound like something you’re experiencing? If yes, then you definitely want to check for the red flags below to make certain and get assistance.
Signs you’re in a toxic relationship
Indifference to your needs: A serious red flag is when your partner ignores your emotional needs. When he/she goes against what you want, no matter how uncomfortable, that is toxic.
Chronic stress: Are you constantly finding yourself on the edge despite no external pressures or triggers? If being around your partner is leaving you with chronic stress, it proves to be a crucial indicator of the fact that something is off. Stress from the relationship, when starts taking a toll on your mental and physical health needs to be reconsidered.
A constant lack of respect: Disrespect is one of the first and early signs of a toxic relationship. If the lack of respect in your relationship has reached a stage where you cannot possibly take it anymore, you’re a victim of toxicity.
Untruthfulness/Lying: You constantly find yourself cross-checking their whereabouts. Their lies are caught more often than ever and their behaviour towards you is not just distant but also indifferent.
Controlling behaviour: Going out when they want to, eating what they like, talking to the people only they are on good terms with, you wear only what they approve of. Does this sound familiar? Having opinions in a relationship is healthy, but asserting control isn’t.
Toxic communication: Is your communication characterized by criticism, sarcasm, or contempt as opposed to mutual respect and kindness? Are you or both of you constantly passing snide remarks to each other? Are you arguing more than you’re conversing? If the answer to any of these questions starts with a Y E and ends with an S, then you are in a toxic relationship.
Excessive jealousy/envy: While it is absolutely fine to feel a little jealous from time to time when in excess, this very emotion can lead to the feeling of mistrust. The same goes for envy. These are among the biggest reasons for causing toxicity in your relationship.
Unsupportive: Is your partner not encouraging of you or unsupportive of your endeavours? Is your partner not showing up for you when you most need them? Are getting an impression that your interests do not matter or matter less than your partners? You know where am I going with this right? Remember that healthy relationships are based upon a desire for the other to grow and succeed in life.
When in a toxic relationship, you may feel like your life is doomed and so is your relationship. But, what if I tell you that’s not the case? There are still ways through which you can save your relationship and live a happy healthy life. If both you and your partner are willing enough, you can change this situation for sure.
Here’s what you need to possibly manage & better your relationship and leave the toxicity behind.
Heal individually first, then together: Self-help is of prime importance here. You cannot help your relationship if you fail to help yourself first. Take time to heal from past experiences. Contact me for healing services or indulge in activities that heal you from within. You can work better as a partner if you’re feeling good about yourself.
Talk to a professional: Getting a professional opinion and help is perhaps where you can start with. Wanting to bring about a change in your relationship is a step to change it already. Taking guidance from a professional can ease the way out for both of you.
Practice the art of healthy open communication: Communicating and doing so in a healthy way is crucial for you. Your partner and you need to create a space where you both feel heard and comforted while speaking with each other.
Take accountability & find support: Both the partners need to be able to take complete accountability for their actions. It is only then can you actually find support in each other and create an environment of trust once again.
Be compassionate & leave the past behind: It is with compassion that a relationship can be saved. If and only if the both of you decide to leave the past behind and start afresh is when you can move ahead in your lives.
Give each other necessary space: As necessary as it is to spend time together, it is also important to give yourself and each other some much-needed space. Give each other this time to work on individual goals, hobbies, etc. For a relationship to be healthy, it is imperative that both partners are happy in their own lives as well.
For relationship guidance, positive affirmations and mindfulness coaching-related enquiries you can get in touch with me.
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